It’s a Saturday evening and I’m on my way to a house party and pre drinks with a friend, Sam. When we arrive I say to Sam “Will I know anybody in here?”
“No you won’t but don’t worry”.
We knock on the door and we are let in and greeted with beers and bags of food and my friend Sam says this is Dave and he shakes my hand and shows me to the kitchen where there is a beer pong game under way “You two want to play” says Dave
“We’ll play later” Sam says.
I stand in the corner minding my own business as Sam makes his way around the kitchen saying hello to everyone and then Dave turns to everyone and says shall we put the TV on for abit and a small cheer from around the kitchen is let out. The beer pong game comes to a stop and we all make our way into the living and Dave turns on The X Factor and a mixture of a boos and cheers flows through the room and we all sit around and watch the first episode of the new X Factor. I take a seat at the back of the room and drink my beer and listen into everyone making a conversation about the show. A lad at the front sitting under the TV says “Do we really have to watch this shit Dave?”
“Yeah we do, it’s the best show on telle. We can watch this and then we can put some music on after” says Dave.
“It’s a piece of shit show, look at them they all look like their faces have been moulded together by wax”
“just watch the bloody show, it wont be on for long”.
A lad called Christian comes on for an audition and gets the usual 4 yeses “Well I think we all knew he was going to go through didn’t we” says the lad at the front “sob story and a few tears and that’s all that it needed”
“But he can sing though” the girl next to him says.
“Ah well, still got through cause he looked abit pretty and he told a sad story”.
A lad sitting on the floor in front of me with a hat on and a half a bottle of rum says “You know this whole damn show is about judging people, good or bad, how you look and what you’re wearing”
“Well der” says Dave”
“Here me out” says the drunk lad “All its doing is making people who like the show judge people who aren’t X Factor type singers, as soon a rock band comes on the show they will always say “well they are shit and they look like tramps” and then people who hate the show like you at the front will say “oh here we go, it’s the X Factor, just pretty people who have singing training come on and win and talk about all the bad things that have happened to them in their lives” blah blah blah, you’re just as bad as each other”.
He then walks off into the kitchen and grabs another beer and Dave turns the TV off and says “That’s about enough of that, lets just go play beer pong before we all start having a big fight over some singing show” and we all go back into the kitchen to carry on the drinking games.
We go back into the kitchen and the rest of the group of people continue their game of beer pong and I take my place back in the corner and I sit on a stool that’s located next to a collection of peanuts. I listen in to a conversation between a lad and a girl who arrived while we were watching the X Factor and they have heard about the near argument that took place in the living and they are continuing the discussion between themselves. “I can’t stand that show” says the lad “it’s full of fakes”
“It’s all full of fakes all of TV” says the girl
“I know, they’re all pretend on that dancing show too”
“Strictly comes dancing?”
“Yeah that one, I don’t like that either”
“That’s ok, it’s only dancing and you know there will always be a crap one on that show, no sob stories on it”
“Still fakes though”
Yeah, but I like it”.
Dave comes over to the girl and lad and sits with them “you two talking about the X Factor now aswell” he says
“Yeah, it’s crap” says the lad and the girl just replies with “Strictly is ok”.
A lad with the hat on with an empty bottle of comes over and says “I can’t believe it’s come to this people still arguing over shows about judgement, it’s destroyed music. All it’s done has made both sides judge everything, whether it’s music or fucking TV or even twating dancing”. He stumbles back into the doorway and turns to everyone “I think the taxi’s are here”.
Dave gets up and goes to the front door and shouts “taxi’s are here”
We all head outside to see 7 taxis lined up one after the other. Dave tells me and Sam to get in the front one and the other will jump in the rest.
We get in the taxi and the driver tells us to pay up front “You’re gonna have to pay up front lads, too many taxis and every ones abit rowdy” so we hand over the cash and we start to move for the town.
“You lads having a good night” says the taxi driver
“Yeah we are having a good night, every ones just arguing about the X Factor” says Sam
“Oh is that one again”
“Yeah it is” I said with a sigh
“I always used to go to gigs, always. Every weekend I used to go but now I only go every couple of months but every time I go everyone seems to be a judge on the X Factor. Everyone is criticising how a band looks, sounds, plays. They can’t just enjoy the gig. And every time I speak to one of those people they seem to all hate shows like that but seems to act the same as the judges do. It’s ruined everything”. He drops us next to all the other taxis and we get out and join the others and we walk towards the first pub.
We walk past a busker before we go into the first place and we surround him like a gang of vultures and join in with his collection of musical classics. We provide the backing vocals to hits like Champagne Supernova and Bittersweet Symphony and even old school favourites like Wannabe and Tragedy. After about 15 minutes of singing it feels like the atmosphere has gone weak and dead and we are all craving the first drink in the pub. We say goodbye and laugh as we walk away but I notice that the buskers hat is empty so I put in a ten pound note and I shake his hand and say “that was fun mate” and he nods at me and smiles a toothless grin and i go and join the group of 15 and go into the pub where the Xtra Factor is on the TV coming back from the commercial break.
I notice the busker through the window of the pub, he picks up his hat and put its on his head tapping it down softly and then he puts away his guitar. He walks away opening a can a beer as he moves and a voice from somewhere down the street shouts from the dark ” Maybe you should go on the X Factor”.