You walk into the pub, and they’re all there
Bob the Snob
Johnny the grunt
Sue brings up her favourite tv shows
as a kid
Top of the Pops
Snob starts rambling about the great music
that’s lost today
Johnny and Dave keep going on about
On the waterfront
and Hairy Mary is
just looking at the cocktail menu
Sex On The Beach
An Incredible Hulk.
I’ll just have a Guinness.
The art of quitting can be something beautiful
and mysterious if you just go with it.
When you sit back in a chair with the curtains
closed and a blank television screen and just
give it, it feels a lot better than getting up
and giving a shit.
It’s a rare thing to do, it doesn’t come about
a lot but when it does just embrace it for a
while and quit.
When you see a man in a car screaming at the
traffic all he has to do is quit and give up
it would be the best thing he would do that
day, the traffic wouldn’t matter because of all he
needs to do is sit back and go “fuck it” and smile
and relax and let the world go by.
Thanks to celebrity the art of quitting is
become a dying breed but now is the time to
get it back into the mainstream culture.
Or not, depends on how you feel.
The line getting into the gig turns into complete chaos.
A long haired metal head dude with a tattoo on
his face of a small bird has decided to make his way
to the front, pushing and shoving his way through the
line, and that turns all the other metal heads, grungers
and just general rockers and gig goers into a ten minute
All i can hear from the back to the front, from one
side to the other is the grumbles of complaints about
the man who shoved his way to the front.
The bouncer stops him asking him for his I.D when
a girl from the back shouts “HE PUSHED HIS WAY
TO THE FRONT” and then everyone in the line
joins in and the bouncer asks him to leave the
que and either head to the back or walk away.
The man doesn’t say a thing and he just walks off
around the corner and behind the venue and the line
Inside the venue the man from the line is standing on
the stage with his guitar waiting for the sound guy
to tune him in so he can play his gig, his eyes are
red and he has a bored look on his face like he wants
to go home.
Everyone from the line ouside who see’s him doesnt
say anything about it, they just go off upto he bar
or into a corner mumbling to themselves.
The gig is now over, everything hurts from
the neck down. My age might be finally
catching up with me.
I finish off my JD and along with everyone
else i make my way towards the toilet which
is a like a small ritual to seasoned gig
Standing at the cubicle looking at the walls
of bands i’ve never heard of advertising gigs,
merchandise and upcoming tours, posters from gigs
months ago, a blues band adveritising their
annual christmas gig in the middle of Febuary
with the date christmas 2014 is still on the wall
about the sink.
I hear abit of comotion behind me, so i turn
around to a quick peak at whats going on and a
group small group have gathered around a man half
their size and they’re holding a damp cloth on
“What the hell happened, son?” one of them says
“It was the mosh, the fucking mosh pit” the small man
says barely getting the drunk slurred words out
“I must have of duckin’ hit someone elses head during
the last bluddy song”
and thats when i notice blood going down the
back of his white t-shirt as i wash my hands.
I leave the toilet leaving the group of men
to clean the blood of the guys head and i exit
the venue wondering what happened and
who the man hit his head on.
As i walk away looking for the nearest pub
i see a long haired metal head sitting on the side
of the road with his friends holding
his forehead complaining of a sharp pain
above his eyes.
I’m sitting at the back of the pub when the music
goes off, and the dance floor descends into total chaos,
a full on brawl.
The place has only been open an hour, I’ve only had
two drinks and a riot has broken out, it’s a 7 on 7
free for all, chairs are flying over head.
Glasses, Bottles, Shoes are being tossed around
at all angles and it’s slowly making it’s way to my
table where I’m sitting by myself with a Jack Daniel’s
and Coke and I’m a reading a news story on my
The 7 on 7 aspiring alcoholics, punching, kicking,
choking, glassing and chairing each other get closer and
closer to my table, so I down my drink and close
down my phone ready to make my way towards
the exit to find a new pub.
Thats when the police rush in, I can’t count how many of
them there are but it’s enough to hold off any
unwanted hooligan with a pint of carling in his
hand ready to smash someone’s face in.
They drag them out of the pub and into cars
and riot vans and that’s when I decide to leave
I look around at the carnage as i walk towards the door
and i see that the bar staff are on the floor somehow,
I never even noticed them getting involved, the chair
throwing and the glassing’s took me away from everything
else that was happening around the place.
So I leave and walking down the street I can hear
the sirens in the distance taking away the brawlers and
crazies and people walking beside me asking questions about
what has happened.
People i recognise that were in the pub are talking and
laughing about what they have just seen, typing on their
phones about the choas.
Then I find an irish pub and walk through the doors
and it’s empty…..
I turn towards the clocktower in
the center of the city and I see a Christmas
brass band playing classic Christmas carols.
Small children stand by them with red
hats and red ribbons around their arm
and holding a red bucket in their hands.
People stand around them in the freezing
cold holding bags full Christmas presents
in one hand and a child in the next, and they
stand patiently waiting for the next song
to be played so they can put the money
in the bucket and run towards their cars
and go home to the warmth.
Drunk men gather around the band and
singalong and dance to the music and chant
like it’s halftime at the football, and I’m just
waiting for one of them to pull out a drum
of their own and join in with the band.
Some people walk on by like it doesn’t
exist while others take notice at the music
and others look on in confusion at something
that might be interrupting their shop.
I drop some change in one the buckets before
I carry on walking around and leave the football
chants and the brass band playing along
In the middle of the afternoon on the highstreet
and it’s raining and there’s a strong breeze blowing
my jacket behind me.
Poeple around me walking with umbrellas folded
up, business men with rain macks running for
shelter and mums dragging their childrens behind
and straight into a clothes store and out of the
A bike comes speeding by me holding leather
hand bag in one hand and a can of Monster
in the other, he rides through a puddle and splashes
me in the face as he speeds on by.
“STOP HIM, HE’S GOT MY BAG”
a woman screams behind me as i carry on walking
but i don’t pay any attention and i just carry on
like nothing happens and two young girls run past
me and then stop on the corner with their hands
on their heads as i turn into the pub.